The Genius That is Jim
Is there a space above your Washer and Dryer to hang a clothes line? Do it. That way you can pull your shirts out of the dryer and hang them up immediately, saving on ironing. You’re welcome.
Buy a basic, six-foot wooden ladderq that is light but safe. Aluminum ladders are cheap and dangerous. When you have the money, buy a second, super-deluxe L’il Giant.
If you were a competent, hard-working, handyman type of person, you would already know that cordless tools are so much better than those that are hard-wired. But you aren’t, which is why I am here to tell you they are. Not that I am either, but you’re welcome nonetheless.
Discarded fence boards, when cut and spliced, make excellent free kindling. The wood is already 20 years old, it cuts easily, can be splintered with a hatchet and burns quickly. Better to be used up in smoke than dumped in the land fill.
If you are on the phone a lot at work, get a headset that is cordless. If you buy a headset with a cord, you will eventually buy one that is cordless. Save your money until you can afford a cordless headset — it is the cheapskate who pays the most. I speak from experience. You’re welcome.
Change your smoke detector battery every six months when the time changes. If you don’t have smoke detectors, you are a moron and will rectify that before the end of the week. There is nothing you will buy this week that is more important. Okay, back to the changing battery. Save the old nine-volt battery, write “USED” on it and use it for something less important – but NEVER to put back in your smoke detector. By the way, your wife will hate this idea. Mine does.
DO YOU GET SPAM EMAILS? Of course you do! Create a “phony” email address and use it when you have to sign up for stuff. The address itself is legitimate and I check it about once a week. But in the meantime, your real email box doesn’t get cluttered with unwanted messages. Most email providers will give you a few addresses for free or you can go to gmail.com for a free address. And if I ever give you an email address that begins with guidafamily@… well, don’t expect a prompt reply!
HELPFUL HOUSEHOLD TIPS FOR THE HAPPY HOMEMAKER!