The Genius That is Jim

Do you do a lot of driving?  Do you wear glasses?  Do you wish you had the money for prescription sun glasses to wear while reading reading text messages at 75 miles per hour?  Well, the next time you get new glasses, hide the previous pair in your glove box as an emergency pair.  And take the emergency pair you had in there and get them tinted.  It costs about $30 and when you take those long road trips, swap your regular glasses for your new prescription sunglasses.  I am a genius.  And you’re welcome.

A  fun road trip game I invented – thank you very much – is for the  occupants of the car to think of something — anything at all.  A blue  elephant, a dollar sign, a house with two chimneys, whatever comes to  mind.  Keep it simple, but the goofier the better.  Then everyone looks  for those things while driving.  If two people see it, you check it off  the list.  You’ll be surprised the things you see.  If it’s a long trip  with a few passengers, maybe each person puts two things on the list.   When the list is done, take a break and then go again.  This is good for  anyone old enough to get bored while riding in a car and involves  everyone.

Teri  bought Rain-X – the stuff you put on the windshield which causes the  water to bead up – and applied it to the front and back windows of our  cars.  Another example of how I married well.  Buy a bottle and try it.

Don’t  you hate it when the automatic seat belt creeps up and slowly strangles  you?  Not me!  Mainly because I’m not you and secondly because I have a  strong clip that I attach to the belt which prevents it from sliding  up.  I attach the clip to the belt so the belt is just “not snug”  against me and away I go!  In the very unlikely case I need the  seatbelt, it adjusts an instant later than usual.  I’m willing to risk  the bruise while spending years of comfortable motoring.  This is not an  “Absolute Driving Rule” (see Rules to Live By) but something that I do.  Your choice.

In your car, you should have quality jumper cables and a blanket.  And get  AAA Road Assistance.  It is the best $50 you will spend this year.  The  “battery boxes” that will jump your car don’t work and aren’t worth  buying and having.  At least the three I have purchased weren’t worth  it.  Maybe I’m not such a genius after all.

Keep  a small rag towel – a little larger than your hand – in the glove box.   You will want it to wipe the inside of the window when you aren’t  patient enough to wait for the defroster.  And as a dry wipe.

Go to Walgreen’s, buy a box of their “Thick Moist Wipes,” use one to wipe the smirk off your face because you think it’s a dirty name and put a large number of the rest of  these individually sealed wipes in your glove box.  They last a long time – longer than those Burger King napkins you have in there now – and are especially good for sticky messes.  “Hey, did you TEST the cap on the Slurpee before handing it to me?”  You’re welcome.